


Lark and Sparrow make Darryl Wilsons Life A Living Hell

by sozmom



Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Au where mercedes passed a bit before the campaign even starts, Comedy, Fluff, Gen, Kinda, M/M, Mild Angst, Mischief, Oakson, Pranks and Practical Jokes, happens post campaign, the twins are working against darryl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-31 02:49:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21055394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sozmom/pseuds/sozmom
Summary: Henry Oak gets a 'very special new friend' and its Lark and Sparrows job to make sure that Darryl is up to their standards





	Lark and Sparrow make Darryl Wilsons Life A Living Hell

It’s not like the tormenting started immediately of course.

The first time Darryl Wilson came over to their house Lark and Sparrow were told that he was daddy’s ‘very special friend and you must be nice to him’. And they were! But it may have been because they found a skunk in the backyard and their not-so-friendly neighbour Mrs. Debuchay had made the fatal mistake of leaving her bathroom window slightly ajar on the second floor.

They were preoccupied all day finding ways to get in with the skunk in tow that they left Darryl Wilson well alone. Of course, they _did_ find it strange that their father hadn’t come looking for them for quite some time. He rarely left them alone that long but there was no point in looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Or well, a gift mini van.

After that Darryl Wilson appeared more frequently at the house. And whenever he did it seemed like their dad didn’t keep such a close eye on them so they made a pact to not scare the other man away. His visits meant they could wreak all the havoc they wanted, with consequences only occurring if their dad found out after the fact.

Most of the time he didn’t. Mrs. Debuchay now lived in constant terror.

Some days Darryl would stay over the night and Lark and Sparrow were treated to pancakes and bacon in the morning – which royally annoyed their father but he only verbally complained, he never actually stopped them from eating the breakfast. And Darryl made really good bacon.

They heralded Darryl as a king whenever their father asked about their opinions on him.

Then came ‘the family dinner’.

Also known as the day Darryl Wilson became public enemy number one.

\---------------------------------------------

Lark had been taking aim with his spoonful of peas towards Sparrow’s head when their father had cleared his throat indicating that he wanted their attention. Both boys ignored this of course and Lark let fire the peas, each of them pelting his brother right on the noggin before rolling sadly to the floor.

Sparrow let out a loud laugh and began to retaliate with his own peas. This time Lark opened his mouth hoping to catch them. Like he was a basketball hoop.

“Lark, Sparrow, my beautiful boys, I have something very important to discuss with you” Henry called for their attention, rising from his seat, adjusting his glasses nervously. Sparrow stopped mid aim and Lark snapped his mouth closed as twin sets of eyes turned towards their father.

“So Darryl Wilson, daddy’s special friend, has been coming over for a while now. And we were special friends a lot longer before that. So I was thinking of maybe asking him to move in here with us. How would you boys feel about that?” Henry asked, clearly trying to sound confident and reassuring all at once but failing miserably as he stuttered over words and shifted nervously where he stood.

“Why, is he homeless?” Sparrow asked bluntly, lowering his pea laden weaponized spoon.

“N-n-no!” Henry rushed to explain, turning a bit red at the words “He has an apartment, but I just thought it would be nice for him to move in with us considering he and daddy are well uh really _really_ special friends. And he’s over here a lot anyways so doesn’t it make a lot of sense for him to just move in?” He finished, a little pleadingly. He almost sounded afraid of what answer Lark and Sparrow would give, and if there was anything the twins could sense and subsequently prey on – it was fear.

“You told us Terry’s weird stepdad was your special friend too. Why isn’t he moving in?” Lark pried, eyes meeting his brother’s in a silent acknowledgement that they would not be making this easy for Henry whatsoever.

“No, I told you not to call Ron weird because he was daddy’s friend and that he’s just got a special outlook on life. Darryl is…” Henry trailed off for a moment before sighing and squaring his shoulders “Darryl and I are dating” The only sound in the room was Sparrow’s spoon clattering onto his plate. “I thought I had made that clear before but clearly there was some miscommunication here. I hope you boys are okay with that. Of course you come first always, I don’t want you to think I would put my priorities aside. My beautiful boys will always be number one in my life and Darryl understands that being a dad himself and all-” Henry rambled on but before he could continue a quiet broken voice, one that usually would never come out of either of his sons, cut him off.

“What about mom?”

The silence and tension that hung in the air was so heavy it could have suffocated anyone walking into the room.

Henry stood in stiff shock for barely a fraction of a minute before he physically deflated and rushed towards Sparrow, who had spoken, to offer him comfort. He wrapped him up in his arms but his son remained ram rod stiff. He looked across the table at Lark who was staring at his plate rather intensely.

“I know you boys miss her. I do too” Henry spoke softly, pulling away from Sparrow but leaving a comforting hand on his shoulder. “And if you two really don’t want Darryl to move in then I won’t push the matter. I’m not trying replace her and I don’t want to either. But I hope you can understand that your mom wouldn’t want me to be alone forever”

Lark’s head snapped up to meet his brother’s eyes. Unspoken words passed between them in that moment, a twin telepathy that they’d shared since they were born.

They would never directly go against the words of their mother – it was an agreement between the two of them that was put in place since she had passed away five years ago. Henry had only ever accidentally invoked it once and that was at her funeral when both of them were refusing to do what they were told.

And while their mother didn’t want their dad to end up alone surely it was the twins job to make sure whoever he ended up with was worthy. It was practically their duty to test the limits of whosoever wished to court Henry Oak.

“He can move in” They said simultaneously, startling their father.

“Well” Henry coughed, clearly not expecting such a speedy acceptance. “That’s great boys, really thank you, you don’t know how much this means to your old man” He beamed, hand falling away from Sparrows shoulder. “And you boys know if you ever wanted to talk about your feelings in regards to your mother I’m here to listen” He offered

“Nope!” Sparrow said brightly, popping the p. He then reclaimed his spoonful of peas and chucked it right at his brother. Lark giggled in delight and loaded up his own spoon. Henry watched the chaos unfold for a moment with a deep sense of fondness before rushing to break it up.

\-----------------------------------

“We have to break him” Lark told Sparrow that night as they lay in their beds.

“It’s only right, no one unworthy should be allowed in mom’s place” Sparrow agreed solemnly but there was a twinkle of mischief in his eye.

“We should begin plotting soon”

“Indeed”

Two rooms down Henry Oak sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at picture of his late wife, Mercedes Oak-Garcia, eyes shining with unshed tears but a small smile graced his lips.

“Sometimes I think I’m in over my head with those boys. But sometimes they surprise me” Henry murmured quietly to the photo “You’d be proud” He added, blinking away the tears. He set the photo back on his nightstand and grabbed his phone, the screen flashing with one unread text message. It was from Darryl, wishing him goodnight.

“I like to think you’d be proud of me too”

\------------------------------

Darryl took a while to move in of course and Lark and Sparrow didn’t make that process any quicker . He hadn’t that much furniture from his last apartment, but he did have a lot of his special ‘pale ale’ that Lark and Sparrow definitely began stealing cans of the minute their fathers back was turned for pranks at a later date.

They randomly moved boxes around so that Darryl never fully knew where any of his stuff was and would have to search through several boxes repeatedly to find what he was looking for. There had been a particularly entertaining day where they’d managed to work out a system that got Darryl putting boxes on the front porch and when his back was turned they snuck some of the boxes back into the moving van so that he would repeatedly be bringing out the same boxes over and over again. They got caught only after 35 rounds, disappointingly low for them.

They had broken not one, not two, not three but a grand total of seven of Darryl’s vhs tapes and were well on their way to breaking the actual player until their father caught them and made them put it back. They were also forced to apologize to Darryl to make matters worse. Darryl had looked constipated throughout the entirety of it but never the less accepted the apology. Although it was noted that Darryl got the twins names mixed up almost purposely for the rest of the day.

They didn’t like it but they did respect that he wasn’t going to just lie down and take the torment without a fight.

\--------------------------------------

Part of Darryl moving in was the fact that Grant, Darryl’s son, would also be moving in, at least at the weekends. They tried recruiting him since he seemed to thoroughly dislike any ‘family time’ he was forced into from their dads. 

“An enemy of our enemy is our friend” Sparrow had tried to reason with him. Grant finally looked away from his ipad to give them a withering look.

“My dad’s not my enemy he’s just embarrassing. And so is your dad” Grant paused for a moment. “And so are you” He added finally, eyes shooting back down to the screen indicating that any and all conversation was over.

“We don’t need you!” Lark declared, stalking out of the room.

“Note that we do not give second chances. You have chosen inaction. Like those people who let the nazi’s win!” Sparrow accused, following his brother, walking backwards to give Grant the evil eye.

“Jesus Christ” Grant swore under his breath, not truly believing this was his life now. He loaded up fortnite and decided to take his frustrations out on the poor innocent kids there instead of wringing the necks of the two very not innocent kids planning his dad’s downfall

\--------------------------

They put the cans of pale ale to good use by strapping them together like a rocket and shaking them vigorously until they were ready to pop. Then, they punctured them and watched as the makeshift rocket ricocheted around the living room with the sheer force of the carbonation.

It knocked down one of Henry’s rock collections and shattered a vase Darryl’s mom had given as a housewarming gift. It also hit Lark in the face and left a nasty and questionable bruise that ended up making life very hard for Henry Oak as he tried to reassure everyone that neither he nor his ‘partner’ were child abusers.

‘Partner’, that was his new word for Darryl – upgraded from ‘daddy’s special friend’. The twins didn’t like it all that much. _They_ were partners. Partners in crime and tomfoolery.

Darryl and Henry were just gross.

\----------------------------

The first time Lark and Sparrow were left alone with Darryl came nearly two weeks after he finished moving in. Up until that point Henry or Grant acted as a buffer between them and their new ‘roommate’.

They clambered into his minivan the minute he arrived to pick them up from school. “Drive! Drive! Drive!” Sparrow demanded from the back seat, aggressively pointing forward. Lark stared out of the window. “She’s coming DRIVE DAMMIT” He screeched practically launching himself down to the floor to avoid whoever the hell was looking for them.

Darryl looked out of the minivan and saw a rather upset teacher storming towards the van, black paint coating her head to toe. With a sigh Darryl turned off the ignition and turned around.

“We are going out there and you are apologizing” He said, voice giving no room for argument.

“You’re not our dad you can’t tell us what to do!” Sparrow pointed out, joining his brother on the floor of the minivan.

Darryl barked out a laugh at that. “You’re right buddy I’m not your dad, which I means I wont be apologizing on your behalf. Out! Now! And face the consequences of your actions!”

If there was anything the twins hated more than being bored, it was facing the consequences of their actions. They stubbornly remained on the floor of the minivan chanting out nonsense in the hopes of annoying Darryl into driving away.

Unfortunately for them Darryl didn’t give in easy, instead he sighed and got out of the van. He came around to unlock the door into the back seat. The boys scrambled to try to get out the other side but Darryl had wisely childlocked the door.

He picked them up as if they weighed nothing, holding them each in one arm as he planted himself in front of the teacher and made them apologise. The teacher – Mrs. Hanna – seemed shocked to have even hear the word sorry fall from the twins mouths so thankfully she only gave them a weeks worth of detention.

It was horrifying, but not as horrifying as the grateful kiss Henry planted on Darryl’s lips once he recounted the tale to him over dinner. The boys had fake gagged and whined which only seemed to amuse and encourage the two men. They only stopped after Lark slid to the ground and declared himself as a ‘hunger striker’, and two seconds later Sparrow did the same but instead called himself a ‘political protester’.

“What politics are you even protesting?” Darryl asked, finally moving out of Henry’s space.

“The politics of gross dad kissing!” Sparrow informed him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Obviously they had to have their revenge. And there was a saying somewhere about punishments fitting the crime.

They stole Darryl’s clothes – all of them that weren’t currently on his body – while he was doing some sort of DIY in the garage.

They laid them out in the back yard, with a brush and some black paint they swindled from the art room in school. With an almost impressive amount of precision they began painstakingly painting his clothes black. They made it through 2 pairs shorts, a polo shirt and several of Darryl’s socks before they ran out of paint.

“There should be pink paint in garage” Lark pointed out with glee.

“But he’s in there” Sparrow said, wiping the paint from his hands on his own shorts.

“There’s two of us and one of him” He reminded him, smile devilish. Sparrow conceded, with a mirroring smile, and the two darted towards the garage quickly.

“You go in first and distract him, I’ll sneak out the paint” Lark commanded when they reached the door, it was ajar so the boys could see Darryl’s form turned away from them, hammering away on something on the work bench.

“Heeeeeeey Darryl” Sparrow said brightly, sidling up next to the man in quesion, head at just the right height to see what exactly Darryl was working on.

Darryl jumped, swearing as the hammer came down on his thumb and not the nail he was intending it to.

“Woah its turning purple!” Sparrow declared with delight as his attention turned towards the mans slowly swelling thumb.

“Yeah, yeah its fine, don’t worry” Darryl reassured, in a voice that revealed he was definitely not fine. “So what can I do for you champ?” He asked, voice meek and strained, ruffling Sparrow’s hair with his non-injured hand and hiding the other behind his back with a wince.

“Watchya doin?” Sparrow asked casually, mildly disappointed that he didn’t get a chance to see the bloodbath behind Darryl’s back.

Darryl cast his eyes back towards the project, chest puffing up with some pride. “It’s a photo collage board. I found a whole pile of these old photos of you guys and your mom, I thought it might be nice to have them out and on display so you guys could remember her” Darryl explained, opening the box beside the wooden board with an intricately crafted frame full to bursting with leaves and trees and acorns and all things nature related.

Sparrow’s eyes swept from the board into the box, coming face to face with a young photo of Mercedes Oak-Garcia, a baby on each hip and wide smile on her face.

“When Grants grandpa, my old man, passed away I made him one too. They were really close and he could barely get out of bed by the end so I wanted Grant to remember all the good times too, not just the hard ones, yanno?” Darryl asked, but for all that he said none of it was heard by Sparrow.

With shaking hands he reached into the box, pulling out a couple of the photos with a gentleness never shown by either of the Oak twins. He began slowly shuffling through them, memory after memory displayed before him. All of them were of his mother and them. Her pushing them on a swing, her showing them a flower, decked out in her full field trip gear. Her sleeping on the couch with one of them on her chest. Her at the beach, helping them destroy the sandcastles their father had painstakingly made. Sparrow stopped dead when he came across the wedding photo. She was in a white suit, veil trailing down her back and she was looking up at Henry Oak, wearing his own suit but instead in a lovely baby blue.

What shocked Sparrow the most was the look on his fathers much younger face. It was almost the exact same expression he had on his face now whenever he looked at Darryl.

Sparrow dropped the photo’s back into the box, as if he’d been burned.

“I gotta go!” Sparrow declared, rushing out of the room before Darryl could speak.

Darryl watched him go bewildered until a crash from the opposite end of the room drew his attention.

Standing there with a particularly guilty look on his face was Lark Oak, pink paint dripping down the front of his shirt and onto the floor. Darryl's eyes narrowed before eventually closing as he rubbed his temples in frustration. 

“Listen, I don’t wanna know. Just, just clean up and leave the paint alone” He sighed. Lark nodded swiftly before also making his own speedy exit.

\-------------

“What are you doing?” Lark asked Sparrow after he found him the bathroom, frantically scrubbing at something in the tub.

“Help me clean the paint off!” He screeched, dumping more shower gel into the bath.

Lark looked into the swirling black bathwater and recognized the clothes they’d spent so much time vandalizing. “What the hell, we worked so hard on that!” Lark yelled, grabbing his brothers hands to pull them away from the bath.

Sparrow didn’t budge just scrubbed harder, eyes misting over with each tug from Lark.

Lark eventually let go, looking at his brother with concern. He reached a hand out, like he’d seen his dad do many times, and placed it on Sparrows shoulder.

At the touch Sparrow slumped down, tears finally spilling over.

“Dad loves him okay. Like actually loves him like mom. We can’t-…” Sparrow drifted off rubbing furiously at his eyes with his upper arm. Lark sunk to his knees and enveloped his brother in a deep hug, feeling for the first time in his short life like he didn’t understand anything about his twin.

Eventually he pulled away, when the shaking of Sparrows shoulders eased, and stuck his own hands into the bath. Grabbing a scrubber and the shower gel he joined his brother in cleaning the paint off Darryl’s clothes.

\-------------------------

It was maybe a week later when Darryl (after finding his clothes in the laundry basket, a little worse for wear but nothing a good spin in their washing machine couldn’t fix) sat the boys and Henry down and presented them with the collage.

Lark snatched it from Darryl’s hands as soon as the man finished explaining his motives for making it, eyeing it with the same gentle reverence that Sparrow had originally showed earlier that week.

Sparrow quietly peered over his shoulder, looking at the other photos Darryl had added, a small smile on his lips.

“Oh Darryl, this is lovely” Henry exclaimed, sweeping the larger man into a hug. Larks eyes drew themselves from the picture of his father on his wedding day to see the same look mirrored on his face as Henry pulled back to smile at Darryl.

“Oh” Lark said, eyes widening at the scene.

“Get it now?” Sparrow asked quietly. Lark nodded minutely, ducking his head back down to look at his moms face smiling up at him.

Lark contemplated the collage for a little longer, before looking up into his brothers eyes, an understanding passing between them.

Simultaneously they got up and barreled towards Darryl and Henry, all but leaping into the men's arms.

A round of thank yous erupted from both of them, catching both of the adults completely off guard.

After taking a moment to process what was happening Darryl reached down and scooped both boys up in a hug, receiving some mild protesting from the twins.

“I love you guys” Darryl declared “Even if you are little pains in my ass” He added, causing them to giggle.

“You’re lame” Lark started, giving Darryl’s arm a gentle punch.

“But we guess your okay sometimes” Sparrow finished, smile wide.

\-----------------

“Your father is no longer the enemy!” Lark announced to Grant that weekend, after the twins barged into his room unannounced.

Sparrow dived onto his bed, practically throwing his body across Grants. Grant grunted in annoyance and attempted to shove him off but before he could succeed Lark joined the body pile.

Grant struggled for a moment but eventually sighed and gave up.

“I still think you're embarrassing” He sighed, wiggling his ipad out from under Sparrow and laying it on top of his back and entering his group chat with Terry Jr and Nic to complain about his current predicament.

“Yeah well we’re basically your brothers now so get used to it” Lark pointed out, reaching through the body pile to poke at Grants side.

Grant nearly flung the ipad at him, wiggling uncomfortably away from Larks hand. Since the twins found out Grant was ticklish they weaponized the knowledge immediately and frequently.

“I’ll kill you little assholes I swear!” Grant screeched, finally putting effort into getting the twins off of him. When he was actually trying he was surprisingly strong.

He shoved them both to the floor, following them with a mighty body slam off his bed onto their sprawled forms on the floor.

The twins howled in pain while Grant let out a maniacal laugh. The frantic sound of heavy steps rushing up the stairs caused them all to freeze.

The three of them looked at each other, a Mexican stand off happening silently.

One of the twins opened their mouths, presumably to call for help. However before they could Grant slapped his palm over Lark's mouth.

“Rat me out for swearing and I’ll tell Henry where Timmy the Tetrapod fossil went” Grant warned, causing the twins eyes to widen. They all exchanged looks once more before Sparrow yelled “Deal!”.

Quick as a flash the three of them scattered around the room, Grant threw himself back on the bed, grabbing his ipad as he went to appear casual.

Lark tried to follow him but before he could sit at the end of the bed Grant kicked him off onto the floor. Reluctantly he sunk down and sat crossed legged on the carpet, reaching under Grants bed to pick up a baseball and proceeded to nonchalantly throw it up and catch it out of the air before it hit the ground.

Sparrow dumped himself into Grants desk chair, taking the sports magazine off the desk and opening it to a random page, nodding thoughtfully as if he was having many deep thoughts about what he was reading.

Henry burst into the room, concern lacing his features.

“Is everything okay boys, I heard a loud bang?” He asked, eyes quickly scanning the room for anything out of place. The three boys just looked up innocently, which was way more suspicious than anything else Henry could have imagined.

“We are completely okay father, just chill-axing. Chilling and relaxing’” Sparrow reassuringly rambled, grinning brightly up at his dad. Henry doubtfully looked at Sparrow, noticing the upside down magazine in his hands immediately.

“Riiiiiight” Henry said, looking back towards Lark and Grant. Grant glanced up from his ipad and gave Henry a strained smile.

“He’s right Mr. Oak” Grant said, although it sounded like it physically pained him to do so. “We’re just....chillaxing” He reiterated.

Henry let out a deep sigh but couldn’t help the mild swell of pride within him. He knew they were lying to him but at least they were lying to him _together_.

'Darryl's going to be so proud' He thought,hoping beyond hope that lying to them wasn't going to be only shared activity the boys did together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, hi fellow dungeons and daddies enthusiasts. I hope you enjoyed this fic! Just a reminder that comments and kudos are always appreciated! Also we seriously need more oakson fics! Also would you guys be interested in a second fic, 'Henry Oak makes his step-sons life a living hell'. A more grant centric fic later on when Henry and Darryl get married?  
Let me know!


End file.
